Who Am I??

“Who am I ? ” We’ve all asked this question at one time or another, sometimes out of mere curiosity but often we quest for the right answer. Try to have reflection in front of the mirror, look at yourself…examine yourself from within until to your outside appearance. By that, you surely could recognize yourself. You will realize that there are something awkward and yet something better in you…as a human being.

Each individual possesses it’s own characteristics, behavior and personality. We can not dictate to someone’s own outlook nor anybody could order us to emulate what he/she has. Each of us has our own way to live life, and it’s all up to us how to manage, control and deal with it.

I am but a first year high school when I first heard this question, “Who am I ?”, a question which at first pronounced me as a ridiculous one. I know this could be funny to share, but I really don’t know why my teacher thought to ask such that funny question to us while we’re already cognizant to ourselves. At first, this question is so simple for me to be answered, it is just like telling my name, age, address and anything which would cover me as who really I am. But then, I realized that behind this question, there is a deep meaning…a question that would take us a time o think…a long time to answer…and a question that is needed to answer together with our self-consciousness.

What and who I am now is just because of my own decision, or shall I say, this could be my fate. Whatever things did people knew about me is quite different from who truly I am. I could say that there were many more things people didn’t knew about me…things that will just remain as a mystery.

I do not have any possessions in this world, diamonds, golds and even talents, but this one thing I assure, I am more fortunate compare to those people who have much riches in this world, because my greatest possession is not those wordly things, but GOD alone. Perhaps, unbelievers would say I am weird…an eccentric person…but this is definitely for sure.

I came from destitute family…a family who is always striving to gain something better, a family that is simple yet elegant in spiritual matter, and a family that is holding constantly in hope that there will be brighter tomorrow. I live in the place wherein remote from modernization, and honestly to say, it’s hard to be in. As a student, I am not living in a boarding house because my parents didn’t allow me. Therefore, I am traveling 45-distance from home (Dawan) to Mati and vice versa. For me, as an IT student, would not be enough to live in the place wherein from high-technologies. Frankly speaking, there were times when I feel inferiority to someone who can have anything what they want because they could live convenient and comfortable..But despite of it, I am still fighting against all odds.

On the other hand, I grown up in a nice way under my parent’s hands…with full of care, good teachings and discipline. I am a kind of woman who is not inclined to mingle with wordly doings…to entertain individuals having a vicious deeds which are against from God’s will. Yeah! I live in an unsophisticated way of life. I am not that perfect in physical appearance which men wanted for a woman. Furthermore, I have no good personality to be proud of to my friends, nor an attitudes that would make them belong to my world, but then, there is something in me that people did not acknowledge yet…I am like a shell, living in a confinement...undiscovered. Ascertain if only there is someone who wanted to discover. I could say that I am peculiar…a queer. But then, there is also something in me which I, myself can be proud of…not that in a common ones, instead, in a distinct sense.

Perhaps, few would interested to know further about me, but many would care not. What are those happenings in my life are only me and my God know and share about it. No more…no less.